NOTE: I HAD to do this one! I wrote out the basis at school!
Legalities: Oh, believe me, you know.
Rating: PG-13 (for words, it's not that bad, but I like this power of rating)
Summary: Someone's celebrating April Fool's Day a little off-place this year!
Nowhere Near April
By: Carmen Wayne
"Bye Ives!" Tim Drake called, waving.
"Bye, Airhead!"
His friend and his friend's mother waved and pulled from the huge driveway to get to the main road. Tim watched them a moment, and then went to unlock the door to go inside.
'That's all I am to people. A rich, troublesome airhead. I wish they'd look deeper…' He entered the main entranceway to see his father walking towards him. 'I wish HE'D look deeper.'
"Hi Dad, what's up?"
"Have to get Dana back…" he said, walking past.
"Not even two weeks in and you all ready had a fight?"
"No, no. She superglued all my pens to my desk," he explained. Tim chuckled half-heartedly. "It's not *funny*, Tim! Augh… How was Six Flags?"
"It was cool. That new Batman coaster is okay, but nothing special. It only runs zero to eighty in the time it takes to say it… You should come with us next time!"
"LOOK at me!" Jack barked, grabbing Tim by the arms.
"Ah!"
"I'm gray enough as it IS from your No Man's Land stunt! Last thing I need is to hurl myself into high speeds for nothing!"
"…But it's fun!"
Jack looked at him like he was crazy. After a moment, he left Tim, back on track for revenge. Tim sighed and headed to the top level.
'I'm lucky to have a few friends who care for *me* and not my money, yeah, but I wish more people understood that I'm a human being too! I know how to laugh and things, even though I don't do it… a lot… Does Bruce go through this all the time too?'
Entering his room, Tim saw it was almost 8 PM and smiled to himself.
"Roof runnn!" he sang quietly.
Under his bed was a duffle bag with his Robin suit. He kept it there just in case, but knew no one would look. Not even the main, Mrs. Mac. He pulled it out and unzipped it…
A sharp explosion and a painful multi-whap later:
"AAARRRRGH!!!!"
Tim withdrew from the bag to find his suit and equipment scattered and paper snakes all over him and his room. Cursing loudly, knowing his father heard him, he stood and stared at the mess.
"*Grayson*."
"I've got a lov'ly bunch of coconuts, deedlidee, there they are a'standin' in a row…"
On a self made high wire, Nightwing hung upside down, ten stories up. He sang softly as he watched the polluted skies of lower Gotham City cloud over. Robin had called for him, and he figured a run up there for an hour wouldn't hurt him…
"OW!" he yelled, following the rope swinging and cutting into his legs.
He swung down and grabbed the rope with one hand, a grappler in the other.
"JERK!" Robin hollered, a foot on the rope.
"What'd I-agh!"
He cringed as Robin threw the paper snakes at him.
"My bloody father heard me when that went off! He almost saw the suit!"
Nightwing glanced downwards as he swung closer to Robin. He watched the snakes flutter down to the street below, and then looked to Robin.
"Paper snakes? Robin, I DID NOT do that!"
Robin glared at him, not allowing passage up to the building.
"Why should I *believe* you?"
"Because that was lame and classic. My pranks show a spirit of nuance when I put them into play."
Robin thought about that one and squinted his eyes.
"Well, damn! Then, who DID do it?"
He stepped clear of the rope. Nightwing quickly swung up to the building and sat casually.
"Not a clue, bro. Sorry!"
"Mannn…"
"Hey! I got an idea!"
"What?"
"Lets go find your girlfriend!"
"DUDE! No!! You probably have baby pictures of me or something!"
"You know me WELL, grasshopper. Ha!"
"You-DICK! Get BACK here!"
~~~~A Week Later~~~~
Springing back, Wonder Girl tried to move from Robin's sais. Though clumsy with them, he still put up a good fight. Robin spun downwards, tripping her. She hit the mats they stood on, landing on her back. She tried to roll backwards, but a quick pain struck her shins, knocking them back down. A heavy weight was soon on her stomach.
"I'm glad you let your mother drain your powers for this sparring lesson, Cass," Robin said, sitting on her.
"I'm shocked you didn't want to spar with *Arrowette*."
"GOD, no. I have several reasons to not dig a sparring match with her. First off, Superboy and Impulse would KILL me if she got hurt-"
"Everyone just LOVES Arrowette," Wonder Girl mumbled.
"Now, Cass, that isn't *fair*," Robin said. "I thought you two were becoming friends!"
"We are… It's just, she's got everything any girl could ever, ugh… Why am I telling you this?"
Robin didn't budge when she tried to move. He set the sais to the side and crossed his arms.
"You're not the only one who envies, y'know," he said, humored.
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you think I wish I could be like Superboy or Impulse? They're allowed to make mistakes and have fun while doing it…"
Wonder Girl tried to sit up and he moved down her legs a bit, but didn't really think about moving. She stared at him sadly.
"You can make mistakes around us, you know," she said. "We don't care-"
"BAD!" Impulse screamed from the door of the Justice cave gym. "Badbadbadbad!!"
"IMPULSE!" Robin hollered.
"What's with all the hollering?!" Superboy yelled, entering.
He stopped, seeing Robin and Wonder Girl… and busted out laughing. The laughter was so extreme, his knees gave out. Robin scowled and stood.
"You were SAYING, Wonder Girl?" he groaned.
He offered a hand to her. She took it gratefully and he helped her up. He put the sais on his belt and started away, when Superboy stopped him, holding a water bottle.
"You look thirsty, Rob, you want a drink?"
Robin took it gratefully.
"Thanks, Kid."
"I don't SEE what the problem was!" Wonder Girl insisted to Impulse.
"How can you NOT see it? Even *I* saw it!"
Superboy walked over, grinning ear-to-ear. Wonder Girl looked at him questionably.
"What are YOU all smiles about?"
Superboy held up three fingers… two… And then gestured behind his back. Robin spewed out the contents of the water bottle and started choking. He fell backwards and Superboy and Impulse were in hysterics.
"Not water," Superboy laughed, tears in his eyes. "Onion juice!"
"Oh… NO!" Wonder Girl exclaimed, looking over. Robin was hunched over, whimpering from the awful taste. Wonder Girl glared at the two. "You better leave before he gets up."
"I COULD HAVE DIED!" Robin yelled later that day.
Superboy and Impulse plugged their ears.
"How?!" Superboy laughed after a moment. "It was just a JOKE. You're supposed to laugh!"
"LAUGH?! LAUGH!!! HA! Did you know every time you sneeze or cough, it messes with the beating of your heart? People have gone into cardiac arrest because of them! What would you have done if that had happened?!"
Impulse blinked.
"Poke you with a stick?"
Even later, Robin paced around the main computer, downing water like he was dying. Arrowette and Wonder Girl sat over by the Justice League table, doing homework. Secret sat on the edge of the table, watching Robin. The computer flashed on and Robin walked over. It printed out a few things, and he read them quickly.
"What does it say?" Arrowette asked.
"Tora is back. IMP! KID!" he hollered.
Impulse and Superboy waltzed in casually.
"Yes?" Superboy asked, a smug look across his face.
"Tora is-"
"Tora?!" Impulse yelled.
He zoomed past Robin. Robin's eyes widened and Arrowette breathed out. Wonder Girl, Secret and she slowly moved their eyes from his face, down. Even Superboy had to stare. Impulse stood nearby with Robin's suit from the waist down.
"Whoa," Arrowette said, dumbfounded.
Wonder Girl nearly fell from the redness on her cheeks.
"Boy Wonder is right!" Superboy laughed.
"Stop looking, you freak!" Robin yelled, pulling his cape around him. "Bart, why did you DO that?!"
"You SAID Tora!" He waved the tights to the side. "Tora! Tora!"
"That's "Toro" idiot! TorA is that chick that we stopped that one time, just before we met Arrowette!" Impulse grinned knowingly and tauntingly. Robin glared and reached one hand out. "I want my clothes. NOW!"
Impulse grinned. He shot past, placing the clothes in Robin's hand and causing the cape to fly back.
"There ya go!"
Wonder Girl nearly fainted, Secret was just dumbfounded and Superboy and Arrowette laughed loudly.
>Adios, Senior President!< Tora yelled, running along the building tops from the President's limo. >We shall meet again!<
>Perhaps sooner then later!< Superboy yelled as they sped up in the Super-cycle.
>Ah, so Senior Superboy knows the language of Tora, no?< she laughed, watching them. "Alas, it will do you no good!" she yelled in the English tongue. "For I HAVE the microchip! And you won't stop me, but you're welcome to try and come after me!"
"She sounds a lot like Catwoman after four beers and a cigarette," Robin commented. He felt five stares on him and realized he said that out loud. "Uh, so I've HEARD... Y'know how Batman and her have this THING--"
"Come on, Wondy!" Superboy said, blowing it off. "Lets-"
"No, Superboy, no reason to OVERKILL on this," Robin said, standing on the Super-cycle seat.
"Uh, Rob…"
"I can catch her just as easily," he said.
"Rob!"
"What?" he asked.
"Let me handle it, okay?" Arrowette asked. "Girl versus girl?" Robin bowed slightly. Arrowette fired out a rope-arrow. >Senorita Tora!< she hollered. >Lets fight, shall we?!<
She swung off. Robin sat and leaned on the handle sadly.
"Aww, what's wrong, Robin?" Superboy mock-asked.
"We had to have a villain speaking the ONE language I don't wanna learn!" Robin exclaimed.
"Why doncha wanna learn it?" Impulse asked.
"Because I'm learning OTHER languages!"
"Like what?"
"Indian, Russian, Mandarin, Greek and French!" The four remaining members stared at him. "What?"
"How can you learn all those?" Wonder Girl asked.
Superboy peeked over Robin to her.
"Untold riches," he grinned.
"Oooooh…" she giggled.
"I hate you all," Robin commented.
He drove the Super-cycle up for the building where Arrowette was trying to handle Tora. They all cringed as Tora slammed a crescent kick into Arrowette's face and sprung for the edge of the building with her whip.
"Aw man!" Impulse yelled.
"All right, team, break up and GET her! The microchip needs to be returned to the President!"
They all broke off in different ways, Secret and Impulse helping Arrowette.
"Senor Robin!!!" Tora called from the building across from him. "Here I am!!"
Robin pulled his grappler with one hand and tried to pull his staff with the other while firing. What he discovered… silly string from his grappler and a rubber staff.
"Wha--?! …IMPULSE! SUPERBOY!"
He looked across the street to the building, to see Tora was no where to be seen…
~~8 PM~~
"I'm sick and TIRED of these jokes!" Robin hollered.
Superboy and Impulse sat in their respective chairs at the Justice League table, listening to the lecture. Superboy sighed.
"We thought you could take a joke," he said.
"Guys!" He sat down and leaned on the table. "A joke is… Supergluing someone's pens to their desk, or stealing all their shoelaces or something. That's something to laugh at. But when you trick someone into drinking onion juice, depants them, and change the only things they have that can fight crime in a situation into something completely useless, that's not a joke. When Impulse ripped off half of my suit, what do you think would have happened if Batman or someone entered?"
"I dunno, they'd snicker?" Impulse asked.
"No. I'd get in trouble for you guys being so irresponsible-"
"Oh, come on, Rob, it was US doing-" Superboy started.
"But I'm your leader. It's my duty to keep you in line."
The two sighed and leaned back. Superboy swiveled in his chair while Impulse snapped his fingers quietly. Robin shook his head and stood, heading for the cave exit.
"You know what your problem is?" Superboy asked.
Robin stopped and turned to him.
"What?" he asked.
Superboy rose to his feet and walked around towards him.
"Your problem is you don't appreciate anything anyone does for you!"
"That's not-"
"I don't know what other kinds of things your OTHER friends do for you, but you know… We just want to see you LAUGH at something. You try to separate yourself from Batman, but in the end you're just as obsessed as him, only because you're a teenager, you don't have a CLUE as to how you can handle it! Instead of just demanding to get things done, you whine about it! You're our FRIEND believe it or not, and beyond not wanting anyone to dis you, we want to know you know how to laugh!"
"Being the butt of a joke isn't something I enjoy."
"Then what IS? Or do you even know?!"
"What's THAT supposed to mean?!"
"Have you been ROBIN so much that you've forgotten to know what it's like to have friends and have fun?"
Robin stared at him, really thinking over that question. Taking in a deep breath, he spoke as calmly as he could so he wouldn't be tempted to give away too much…
"I'm sixteen now… I became Robin when I was thirteen. For the last three years, I have been in endless preparation… And I have been killed nearly one hundred and thirteen times, and yes I have been counting. For you, perfection in this field may be an alternative, but that's okay because it's hard to kill you or Pop-n-Whirl over there. But I'm only human, got it? I NEED my weapons working properly or else I might not be able to pull out from a car headed for me, or a line of gunfire coming towards my chest. Maybe I don't laugh, but that's because I don't have the time or the reason to laugh… I *like* my life, though. Can you say the same about you?"
He turned and headed to the kitchen. Superboy just sighed and looked to Impulse. Impulse shrugged and spun in his chair.
~~9 PM~~
After they were locked from the kitchen, the five members of Young Justice had gathered to watch movies on the big screen TV. Robin came out behind them as they watched a Frontstreet Boys concert. Superboy and Impulse kept making wise-cracks, just to get whapped by either Arrowette or Wonder Girl. Secret turned and smiled.
"What are those?" she asked Robin.
The others turned to see he was carrying a tray full of floats. He walked around and set them on the table in front of them.
"I'm leaving tonight for a couple of weeks, and I wanted to make you guys MY version of a root beer float."
He began to pass them out. Arrowette whistled.
"Perfect in ALL areas, hmm?" she asked, grinning.
Robin winked and stepped back to let them have at it. He watched the TV for a moment, until Impulse and Superboy were the first done.
"Want another, guys?" he asked them.
"Totally!" Superboy laughed.
Robin went and got two more pre-made drinks and took them over to the boys. They downed those and grinned simultaneously.
"That was good!" Impulse laughed.
"Glad you liked it," Robin said, a grin growing across his face. "Want to know my secret ingredient for your guys' drinks in particular?" he asked.
"Sure!" Superboy grinned.
"I'm not feeling too hot…" Impulse groaned.
"Shut it, Buzz-Whee."
Robin pulled out a bottle from his belt and walked for the cave exit.
"Catch, Kid!"
He tossed it to Superboy. Superboy caught it and Robin walked off.
NOTE: I HAD to do this one! I wrote out the basis at school!